I finally found the time to clean up my old email address. I found all our old emails from when we first started dating and that was all what we looked forward to, before you even heard my voice. I read them all again and most of them were so sweet. You were so sweet.
But in between them I’ve found the most sad writing I could ever read. I’ve re-read the words that once broke my heart. The words that came from a broken heart. The very heart I broke. And since then I have done it a thousand times over.
How dare I?
It was a bitter reminder of why I left you. It wasn’t about what was right and wrong to do. It was about how I treated you for 5 years. And you put up with it because you loved me. But no one should have to put up with anything. Ever. Putting up with someone isn’t happiness. Staying up every night racking your brain thinking about what you could have done is not happiness.
So I pray that you will find peace of mind. I’ll find you another time. I’ll love you, another time.